ray=out

i wish i had something smart or creative, or at least cheerful to put on here, but i don’t.

daaaaaamn it.

I was once drinking in the corner, on the floor at a party where I was barely invited, on the fringe, it was at Matt Milia’s house, after he played a small set with Chris Bathgate and Milia and I used to be pretty tight, we’d sing Bigmouth Strikes Again really loud after we’ve had a few or even if we hadn’t, but anyways, it was pretty much him and Chris going back and forth debating and pontificating on music the whole night. Mr. Bathgate said two things I distinctly remember that he hated Neil Young, specifically the song Heart of Gold, which, I thought he was an ass for saying that, but the other part of it was that too many musicians try to be songwriters. Which may not make sense, but I think I need to quit trying to write songs. I sometimes envy other musicians because they are so, so good. They come up with and can play things that are so flashy and brilliant, and sometimes whenever I pick up my bass I just feel like anything I try to play is just the same classic rock sounding scale and I can’t get out of it.

ceramic art show on friday was pretty cool. sold three pieces so far, all cheap ones. hopefully, everything sells, so I can get out of debt quicker/don’t have to re-pack anything and put it back in the garage, except the teapot. the teapot is priceless.

i really wish i was motivated to sit down and draw. but, really, i just want to learn about outer space and listen to albums. maybe next weekend, after the silver bells festival, i will hole up in my house and just listen to music and draw. kill two birds with one stone.

i played frisbee on friday and am still partially sore from it today, on sunday. so, yesterday and today I’ve mainly just been watching movies and lots of television, not talking to anyone, but still somehow showering. usually when i become a recluse I avoid showering, but while i’m growing this beard, my face constantly feels too gross to neglect.

so, let’s see what I’ve harvested while at the café:

phoenix: wolfgang amadeus phoenix

appleseed cast: peregrine

the flaming lips: embryonic

set your goals: mutiny!

taylor swift: fearless

weezer: make believe

the last two are pretty embarrassing. my only defense is i haven’t heard either album before (aside from singles) and there’s a void in bad music on my hard drive now that I’ve given up nearly every band that i used to listen to that could play on warped tour (saves the day, underoath, et al) so i really just want something super slick (taylor swift) and as for make believe, weezer is one of my favorite bands and even though I’ve heard from everyone it’s bad, i liked one of the singles and I just want to suffer through it for myself. i feel like i owe it to them.

demo not as good as i thought…out of money…can’t stop thinking about outer space and transhumanism. i don’t believe it, i’m not even sure if it will be good or not, it’s just interesting to ponder and think about, the idea that infinite possibility and a freeing from the human condition during out lifetime is a little bit interesting, right?

You, you are so damn beautiful. I would spend all my money on gasoline just to drive to come hang out with you and learn more about you. Sadly, I haven’t a clue as to convince you I am interesting.

work is going to make my head explode. my only solace is the pinkerton album. i just want to be at home making the demo for the song i wrote last night. it’s finally written. the hardest thing is going to be sequencing the drums…aah